The Art Of Approaching - Extracts
From Section 1, The Art Of Body Language, Chapter 2, page 13
Always Watch The Eyes
The eyes are the window to the soul. They will always betray what a person is thinking, if you’re deft enough to pay attention to them.
I’m going to share some secrets about eye contact with you that is going to help you meet women like crazy. I hope you’re ready for them, because I’m really spilling the beans here.
Are you ready for it?
Here they come…
Secret #1: The Vertical Scan
This is a major body language cue, and one that is hard to pick up if you’re not paying attention. Think about a woman you’ve seen that you found attractive. What did you do? Catch one look at her face, then looked down over her body, going from head to foot, right?
In short, you were checking her out.
Women do the same thing. When they see a man they’re attracted to, their eyes will go from his face to his feet, because they want to see the whole package.
When you make eye contact with a woman, look at what her eyes do. If they flick downwards, guess what? She just checked you out!
She liked what she saw in your face, and wanted to see the rest of you. It doesn’t matter if she looks away immediately afterwards, because she was attracted enough to you to check you out. That, my friends, is a major signal that she will be open to you approaching her (especially if the vertical scan is followed by a smile!).
The only problem with this great signal is that it’s so easy to miss! Women you haven’t noticed yet may have already done it. Also, it’s such a quick action, you can easily miss it if you’re not careful.
So when looking for the eye scan, always pay careful attention!
Secret #2: The Horizontal Scan
This is one of my favorite body language cues, because when this happens, you know you’re in the home stretch!
This usually occurs after you’ve been talking to the girl for a while, you’ve successfully attracted her, and it’s time to kiss. When you look deep into her eyes, you’ll see them flicking back and forth as she looks from one eye of yours to the other, trying to get a read on you.
When you see this happen, go for the kiss right there! She’s ready for it!
Secret #3: Dilated Pupils
I’ve mentioned this one before, but I’ll reiterate it here. A woman’s dilated pupils is an unconscious attraction response. The wider the pupils, the more attracted and excited the woman is getting.
You’ll know what you’re doing is working when you look into a woman’s eyes and notice the black iris part is rather large. This is commonly referred to as the “Doggy Dinner Look,” that you’ll see in cartoons when a dog is silently begging for it’s master to feed it.
The problem with dilated pupils is that other factors can affect its interpretation. For instance, if it’s dark in the room the two of you are in, her pupils will naturally dilate to let in more light.
By the same token, if the woman is drunk or using drugs, her pupils will be dilated as well, because other stimulants are working to excite her body. So be aware of the different factors at play when reading your target’s pupil dilation.
Secret #4: The Eye Contact Test
I think you're really going to like this secret, because I'm going to share a little trick with you that I've developed that really makes it easy to meet a woman.
Too often, guys are simply too nervous to approach a girl because of the extreme amount of uncertainty involved. Think about it. What runs through your head when you want to meet a woman?
• "Am I her type?"
• "Does she have a boyfriend?"
• "Will she find me attractive?"
• "Maybe she's too busy to meet anyone."
• "Will she be receptive to me talking to her?"
I'm sure you can think of a 100 more things that run through your mind when you see an approach opportunity come your way.
If you get scared or nervous when this happens, it's because of one thing:
UNCERTAINTY.
You don't know how the girl you want to approach is going to respond! So your scared because the outcome MIGHT be negative!
Well, worry about this no more, because with this little trick I'm going to share with you, you'll never have to worry about a negative reaction again.
This little trick is so simple, ANYONE can do it! And it's a 100% fear free tactic.
We all know that eye contact is important, but something funny happens when we make eye contact with another person. We become COMPELLED to respond to them in some fashion. When it comes to women, you can use eye contact to find out if she's open to meeting you. In fact, in a way, she'll be opening YOU!
So here's what you do...
The next time you see a woman you want to meet, LOCK your eyes on her! Seriously, just stare at her eyes, even if she's not looking at you.
When people are out and about, they will usually look around to keep aware of their surroundings. This is an unconscious thing we all do. Eventually, the woman you're locking onto will look around to scan the area.
When she comes to you, her eyes will invariably meet yours, and you'll be locked in eye contact.
When that happens, simply SMILE at her.
If she smiles back, guess what? She's OPEN TO YOU MEETING HER. If she doesn't, then move on to someone who is.
And when she does smile back, say "Hi!" And if she responds, you're in! Go right into your opener.
I like to use this tactic in low-key situations, like grocery stores, coffee shops, book stores, etc. Even though it can work just as well in bars (as long as the light is high enough that she can actually SEE you!).
Often times, after you smile, the girl herself will say "Hi!" and then the rest is easy.
The next time you go out, do this to every woman you see. Lock your eyes onto them and see what happens. I guarantee you, you'll be surprised by the results.
Next see an extract from Chapter 3
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